Resilient Reflections: How to build good habits
Building good habits: Ways to Thrive
The process that involves any real and lasting change has to include your desire, ability and need to build good habits that you will carry on with and should be easier when you develop good habits that make you feel better.
And when I say “feel better” it doesn’t always mean feeling healthier or happier. It includes the weighing of the consequences of your actions if you make a choice that has a negative impact on your life. As an alcoholic, there’s that devil sitting on my shoulder reminding me of the thought of how good it would be to just have one glass of wine. But choosing not to drink is outweighed by the massive negative consequences that road would take me and my family. So, my choice—don’t drink. Where I do continue to be challenged is around food and sugar addiction and binging. I still justify it because I figure it’s better than not drinking. The reality is it’s not. The best solution however remains small steps at a time.
There are a number of ways to build good habits:
Identify your triggers
Replace the habit with a different one
You might have an easier time breaking a habit if you replace the unwanted behavior with a new behavior, instead of simply trying to stop the unwanted behavior.
Change your environment
Focus on why you want to change
Why do you want to break or change a certain habit? Take a few minutes to consider why you want to break the habit and any benefits you see resulting from the change. Listing these reasons may help you think of a few that hadn’t occurred to you yet. (1)
Enlist a friend’s support
If you and a friend or partner both want to break an unwanted habit, try to do it together. Make it a point to cheer each other’s successes and encourage each other through setbacks.
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness can help you develop awareness around your thoughts, feelings, and actions. This practice involves simply observing impulses that relate to your habit without judging them or reacting to them.
Practicing mindfulness can also help you notice ways your habits affect your daily life. As you start to recognize these effects, you may feel more driven to work on changing the habit.
Let go of the all-or-nothing mindset
Accepting you’ll probably slip up a few times when trying to break a habit and starting a new one is usually part of the journey. So, focus on your successes as the narrative. If you were on a program and you stuck to it for 3 days and not the 4th, focus on the good 3 days!
“You’re looking for movement in a particular direction rather than perfection. Instead of focusing on your end goal, consider this: Anything you do that’s more of what you want is good.” - Meyers
Start small
“Make it so easy you can’t say no”—Leo Babauta
Pick a new habit that is easy enough that you don’t need motivation to do it. Rather than starting with 50 push ups per day, start with 5. Rather than trying to meditate for 20 minutes per day, start by meditating for one minute per day. Make it easy enough that you can get it done without motivation.
Increase your habit in very small ways.
As you build up, break habits into chunks.
When you slip, get back on track quickly.
Be patient. Stick to a pace you can sustain.
Practice self-care
Many people find it easier to create positive changes in life when they begin from a place of wellness.
Self-care tips:
Make time for restful sleep.
Eat regular, nutritious meals.
See your health care provider for any long-term concerns.
Aim to be physically active most days.
Take at least a little time each day for hobbies, relaxation, or other things that improve your mood.
Motivate yourself with rewards for success
Make sure to acknowledge how far you’ve come and try to give yourself rewards along the way. Even small motivators, like telling yourself what a great job you’re doing, can boost your confidence and increase your drive to keep trying.
It might not seem like it in the moment, but over time, your new habits will become established in your daily life. Soon enough, they may even feel as natural as your old habits.
1 James Clear, Behavioral Psychology Habits
