Resilient Reflections: Breaking habits, triggers, and how you can manage them

How we manage stresses and challenges often guide the habits we form, both good and bad. That’s why I stress the ability to learn resilience. Resilience allows us to bounce back when things are tough. And there are tools to build resiliency, but that’s a whole different conversation.

Today I want to talk about habits and how you can manage those habits that may impact you in negative ways or how to change habits that will benefit your overall mental and physical health.

The brain produces endorphins, which are pleasure points or stimuli that trigger pain but also happiness and good feelings. Your brain also develops neural pathways that develop our habits. The more times you make a particular choice or take a particular action the more your pathway is worn. Like walking through a forest for the first time, then going back to the same place again and again, until you’ve developed a pathway you follow through the forest. It’s the same premise.

As repetitive behaviours follow that same path, they become ingrained and become habits. Good and bad. Habits are born from the repetition and are also reward based. Intuitively if something feels good, we want to do it again. And again. And again. Because it feels good.

What can negatively impact our mental state is the development of bad habits or habits that might be harmful to you and others.

Breaking a habit

1) Identify what you want to change. You have to transform the obstacles. What have you “gained” or “lost” as a result of these habits? You need to take a real look at your life and identify your stressors so you can start developing new pathways. The hopeful fact, however, is that the brain is always changing and you can forge new pathways and create new habits. That’s called the neuroplasticity of the brain.

2) Identify your triggers. Think about location, timing, your emotional state or people that trigger you. So do you eat something at the same time everyday? I know I do, snacks at night! Or emotionally, think about what happened right before you decided to take an action. Were you anxious? Angry? Bored?

3) Deal with the triggers or transform the obstacles

So, let’s say you want to curb your consumption of alcohol (for that matter it can be anything you may find you are “addicted” to whether it be online shopping, gambling, food, drugs, video gaming, etc.). Depending on how challenging your situation is, you may choose to not have it in the house at all. Or instead of grabbing a glass of wine when you’ve ended your day, go for a walk. Or do a yoga class :)

4) Develop a substitute plan

If you don’t want to drink, choose a coke with a lime (my mother used to do that and everyone thought she was drinking a mixed drink lol!). Or if you are trying to lose some extra weight, choose to have a healthy bite to eat before you go to a party (when we can!). If you want to avoid your mat because you’re tired, just get there and lie there and breathe--you are still benefiting from slowing down.

5) Change the larger pattern

If you are reducing caffeine intake, instead of getting up in the morning and going straight to the coffee pot or kettle, drink a large glass of water. Routines and patterns are adopted by repeating the same action, over and over. If you change the larger pattern you can break the habit. I know when I wanted to quit smoking almost 20 years ago, I’d always have my first cigarette after work. Well, I stopped bringing them in the car to have on my way home from work.

6) Change your environment

If you don’t want to drink, avoid bars, restaurants and people you socialize with that bring out that desire to drink. May not be forever, but for long enough you can support your desire to change. In my case, when I stopped drinking there were places and people I could no longer see. Period. It was difficult but not as difficult as it would have been if I’d started drinking again and the mess that came with it. Not everyone and everything will keep up or understand the changes you need to make to support your choice for a better lifestyle. Sometimes you grow out of them.

7) Props

Props are like what you use in yoga. They support you in difficult situations. So you could put yellow sticky notes around, like in the cupboard with a reason not to grab a snack. Or put your running shoes or yoga mat beside your bed so when you wake up it reminds you what you had planned to do to start your day. These types of cues can really support you to stay on track.

8) Support

Find someone you trust to help you achieve your goal(s). It can be a friend, family member, doctor. Someone who will not pass judgement or make excuses for you but will stand in solidarity with the tough choices you may have to make.

9) Reward

You done good! Celebrate it. Book a workshop or retreat, buy a new book you’ve been wanting or a new piece of clothing. Just make sure it doesn’t relate to the habit you’re trying to break.

10) Professional help

If you can’t do it on your own, seek professional help. There is no shame in getting professional support. It’s a strength if you can recognize when you need support to get you through difficult times.

I hope some of these ideas will help you needing to identify triggers that hinder your abilities to make possible, positive changes in your life. I have gone through every step. They work!